I love how honest and open you are about the rollercoaster of emotions we can feel in a given day from wishing we didn’t exist to shame and guilt to longing and soaking up small moments. Acceptance doesn’t mean that we don’t feel those things. Acceptance is allowing ourselves to feel them, which is the only way to make room for authentic appreciation and gratitude. Thank you for putting it into words, Steph. Sending you a big hug.
Thank you so much for this kind comment, David and for always being able to understand exactly what I mean in my long-winded, wordy way! It's so true that it's a complete rollercoaster. Over the last decade or so, one of the things I try to keep with me is the quote (I'm not sure I know who wrote it) that goes like "Every day won't be good but there's something good in every day" I believe this now, even on my worst days, I think about something one of the kid's say that makes me smile, something I ate that I enjoyed. It's definitely not a perfect remedy to positivity, but it's something that helps me keep going. 💚
It’s not a perfect remedy, but it’s honest and realistic and feels quite helpful. I like that quote. Also, I don’t think you’re long-winded. I love hearing about your experiences. I feel like you’re working your way through them in your writing, which is very much how I feel with mine. I love that you’re not afraid to speak to how hard it can be. I feel like writing about it all connects us to the parts of ourselves that are very much alive.
I thought of you when I was writing this after seeing your notes about your holiday experience too. I know it must have been such a difficult week. Will definitely read your next essay. Thank you for reading this one. 💚💚
I saw myself in many of the moments you described. ❤️🩹
Spending 75% of our Chicago trip recovering from the flight. Driving to the beach only to spend the day listening to Dave’s family having fun through the window of his sister’s camper.
It’s not easy. I’m glad you found some little things to appreciate, and as difficult as it is for you, I know your family appreciates you being there too. And you’re not alone.❤️
It’s true! The periphery is a great word. I sometimes feel more like a pet than a person? I know it’s awful to say, and nobody actually makes me feel that way. I’d rather be there than not though, and if I can’t swing it, I’m learning to skip things altogether.
Reading this on day 2 of being in bed ‘on holiday’ trying to recover from a horrendous migraine after the 8hr drive that was only supposed to be 4hours but traffic 🤍
Thanks for this Steph, I am sorry that you missed out on so much of your holiday, but well done for not trying to push through as I often do. I am glad you had some good experiences and I hope that the memories of these will sustain you in the dark moments. Hope your recovery isn't too painful 🧡
Oh I definitely pushed through some of the bits, if I didn't I wouldn't have don't anything at all. Sometimes we just weigh up what's worth it and wasn't isn't without even thinking, and other times our bodies decide for us. Thanks for your kind words though, the memories is such a good marker of the good bits. 💚💚
Thank you for sharing... that sounds so tough 💛 It made me feel less alone today. I think it's so hard feeling cheated in those small moments we can be present for. I'm currently on holiday with my husband's family who are all absolutely wonderful and I love it... and it's difficult trying to honour my own crip rhythms but also take part in the holiday with a group of 5 adults, all with their own preferences and needs.
Thanks for reading, Holly. I can empathise so much with you're situation. I always find when I'm with other adults and someone suggests doing something really fun but doesn't consider how difficult or impossible it might be for me, is tough. It's not their fault, but it's not ours either. I hope you're managing to enjoy as much as is possible. Sending love 💕
Thank you Steph ♥️ I feel so seen! It's just so lovely to find other people who GET it. Although I also acknowledge that your challenges are a lot more disabling than mine; the degree of severity makes such a huge difference to quality of life. I am so grateful that you fight those thoughts away and stay with us, my world is better because you're in it! Holly ☺️
I think it's subjective to each experience though. If you're struggling, you're struggling, regardless. Appreciate you very much and thank you for being here and sharing such kind words 💚💚💚
I love how honest and open you are about the rollercoaster of emotions we can feel in a given day from wishing we didn’t exist to shame and guilt to longing and soaking up small moments. Acceptance doesn’t mean that we don’t feel those things. Acceptance is allowing ourselves to feel them, which is the only way to make room for authentic appreciation and gratitude. Thank you for putting it into words, Steph. Sending you a big hug.
Thank you so much for this kind comment, David and for always being able to understand exactly what I mean in my long-winded, wordy way! It's so true that it's a complete rollercoaster. Over the last decade or so, one of the things I try to keep with me is the quote (I'm not sure I know who wrote it) that goes like "Every day won't be good but there's something good in every day" I believe this now, even on my worst days, I think about something one of the kid's say that makes me smile, something I ate that I enjoyed. It's definitely not a perfect remedy to positivity, but it's something that helps me keep going. 💚
It’s not a perfect remedy, but it’s honest and realistic and feels quite helpful. I like that quote. Also, I don’t think you’re long-winded. I love hearing about your experiences. I feel like you’re working your way through them in your writing, which is very much how I feel with mine. I love that you’re not afraid to speak to how hard it can be. I feel like writing about it all connects us to the parts of ourselves that are very much alive.
Feel this all the way in my soul 💜 I’ve poured my heart out into my next essay too!
I thought of you when I was writing this after seeing your notes about your holiday experience too. I know it must have been such a difficult week. Will definitely read your next essay. Thank you for reading this one. 💚💚
My family are on their way home and I can’t wait 💜
Bless you. I hope you've managed to rest this week and get all the hugs when they come through the door. 💚
I saw myself in many of the moments you described. ❤️🩹
Spending 75% of our Chicago trip recovering from the flight. Driving to the beach only to spend the day listening to Dave’s family having fun through the window of his sister’s camper.
It’s not easy. I’m glad you found some little things to appreciate, and as difficult as it is for you, I know your family appreciates you being there too. And you’re not alone.❤️
It's definitely not easy and being on the periphery is my MO so I 100% get it. It brings about polarising feelings of both joy and grief. 💚💚
It’s true! The periphery is a great word. I sometimes feel more like a pet than a person? I know it’s awful to say, and nobody actually makes me feel that way. I’d rather be there than not though, and if I can’t swing it, I’m learning to skip things altogether.
Reading this on day 2 of being in bed ‘on holiday’ trying to recover from a horrendous migraine after the 8hr drive that was only supposed to be 4hours but traffic 🤍
I feel your pain. Motion and migraine don't mix. Solidarity and wishing you a speedy recovery. 💚💚
Thanks for this Steph, I am sorry that you missed out on so much of your holiday, but well done for not trying to push through as I often do. I am glad you had some good experiences and I hope that the memories of these will sustain you in the dark moments. Hope your recovery isn't too painful 🧡
Oh I definitely pushed through some of the bits, if I didn't I wouldn't have don't anything at all. Sometimes we just weigh up what's worth it and wasn't isn't without even thinking, and other times our bodies decide for us. Thanks for your kind words though, the memories is such a good marker of the good bits. 💚💚
This hits HARD. Oy... Thank you being open enough to write this.
Thanks so much for reading. I'm sorry you can relate it's not easy at all, like not even a little bit. 💚
Thank you for sharing... that sounds so tough 💛 It made me feel less alone today. I think it's so hard feeling cheated in those small moments we can be present for. I'm currently on holiday with my husband's family who are all absolutely wonderful and I love it... and it's difficult trying to honour my own crip rhythms but also take part in the holiday with a group of 5 adults, all with their own preferences and needs.
Thanks for reading, Holly. I can empathise so much with you're situation. I always find when I'm with other adults and someone suggests doing something really fun but doesn't consider how difficult or impossible it might be for me, is tough. It's not their fault, but it's not ours either. I hope you're managing to enjoy as much as is possible. Sending love 💕
Thank you Steph ♥️ I feel so seen! It's just so lovely to find other people who GET it. Although I also acknowledge that your challenges are a lot more disabling than mine; the degree of severity makes such a huge difference to quality of life. I am so grateful that you fight those thoughts away and stay with us, my world is better because you're in it! Holly ☺️
I think it's subjective to each experience though. If you're struggling, you're struggling, regardless. Appreciate you very much and thank you for being here and sharing such kind words 💚💚💚